I came across a lens this week that really got me thinking. It's not like I haven't thought about the concept before. It was more about the timing than anything. Let me explain . . .
The lens is Taming the Tongue by Kapalbility. It's all about choosing your words carefully. What I find interesting about the timing is that there's so much information out there these days on improving and changing our thinking but not a whole lot about what follows from that – - our words.
An unknown source said:
"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."
Our words are that powerful. They impact our own lives and the lives of others. They can build up, or tear down.
All the world's major religions – - Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism & Islam – - address taming the tongue and Kapalbility highlights some of these on his lens. It's an ancient teaching. Yet, there's so much hate and negativity spewed out in our world. So much tearing down, rather than building up. So much reactivity, rather than intelligent responding. So much focus on all of this, rather than on the good.
That's what this lens got me thinking about.
Now, there are a couple of common reactions to the idea of taming the tongue. One is that it's just about not using curse words. Personally, I think this misses the point. Another common reaction is that it means that we have to hold in our thoughts, feelings and opinions. But I don't think that's the case. We just have to take time to consider how we're saying things. Expression in kindness and emotional maturity is the key, I think.
Kapalbility says something very important. He says to consider whether the words we're about to say will add value or not. Something very similar is taught in "The One Minute Millionaire" when Robert Allen & Mark Victor Hansen advise us to choose our words carefully. They add, "If it doesn't serve, don't say it." In other words, watch your words and make sure they add value.
What do you have to say on the subject?
Image Credit: Speech bubble by Thinkdifferent
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Visit: Tame That Tongue
I'm a life coach, teacher, direct seller and internet marketer who loves Squidoo and being involved with the Squidoo community. I'm a mom of 4 kids, aged 13, 17, 19 and 21. I'm also a new grandma! I love personal growth, spirituality, nature, elephants, vegetarian eating, writing, reading and learning. But my posts may or may not be about these topics. Primarily, I like to highlight great-quality lenses that make me think or that present meaningful ideas.
Well, I don't need to watch my words here as I can say in all honesty how much I'm enjoying your thought-provoking reviews and featured lenses on Thursdays, Leanne. :) It was especially good to see Kapalbility featured here. He and I started on Squidoo around the same time and as well as making us stop and think, as he has done here with some wise advice, both his commitment and his sense of fun have made him a joy to know.
I heartily agree with Nicki that I look forward to seeing what you will come up with on Thursdays, Leanne. This is an excellent lens by Roth. He had presented a very good case for the power of words and how it is better sometimes to not say what you are thinking. I personally am going to pay more attention to whether my words have value or not.
Thanks, Kim & Nicki. That's what I'm paying attention to right now too – - whether or not my words have value. There's a cool technique that can be used to help you stop negative thinking. You wear an elastic band on your left wrist and snap it each time you have a nasty thought (and you do this for 30 days). It'd be neat to try this for words as well as thoughts.
Leanne, Kapalbility's lens is a timely choice as the weather is sure making folks reach the mental boiling point.
Indeeed, folks are going to get mad, they're going to spout off, and they are going to be sorry afterward. Some folks are going to "tell the truth" as they see it, with no filters for feelings. That's just an excuse to be mean. "The truth" still needs to be cloaked in kindness.
…My hubby is great at all this. I've learned a lot from him. :)
Thanks for featuring my lens. I am really honored! :D
Kapalbility´s last blog ..Tame That Tongue! updated Mon Jun 7 2010 1-29 pm CDT
Wonderful review and lens, Leanne. Hopefully, a few people who spew venom with their words will take some wisdom from it. As Kim said in her comment on the lens, words can sometimes inflict more pain than an actual act of physical violence. We can see the bruises left from violence but the scars left on the heart from words don't show.
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You're welcome, Kapalbility! It's an excellent lens. It's a topic that gets people thinking and one that makes a difference — my favorite kind of lens :).
Yes, you are right Leanne, it is a wonderful lens! We could all use that little reminder on occasion.
Nice to see this highlighted. Not only is has Kapability put forth an important topic…but like Mimi said people need to learn to give the truth with a little kindness. We cannot take back what we put online.
Kathy McGraw´s last blog ..Serrano Del Vista Home Owners Asscociation Info
Roth (Kapability) gave us true 'words for thought'. His subject is one we all need to remember before we 'speak'. BTW, your quote about "Watch your thoughts, for they become words…. " is one I've had written down to remember — and reread often — for a long time — it's very true.